18 October 2005

I may be dumb but I have a decent reason: Toothpaste

My last installment by the same title was on the "one, zero" power switch. This one is about toothpaste. You've seen it before - the little label that reads

For best results, squeeze from the bottom and flatten as you use the product.

I have never heeded this information for an entire tube of toothpaste. Invariably, I will be brushing late at night and, too tired to think, I just squeeze from where ever my hand happens to pick up the tube. My question is for what "best results." Although I've had some doubts, I have generally assumed the purpose of this message is to help cheapskates get every bit of paste out of the tube. Though if this is the only result derived from this practice, I think I will save my effort and possibly buy one extra tube of toothpaste over the span of my lifetime.

However, if somehow squeezing from the bottom and flattening promotes the optimal mixing of the paste substance as it is ejected from the nozzle, then perhaps I should heed the advice. Then if I ever sue Crest for all my cavities they can't use as their defense, "Well Your Honor, he just didn't flatten as he used the product. It said it right on the tube."

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